Hey Reader,

Last week we talked about me getting into the car with the debt collector that showed up at my work. And this week, it's the tax man.
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You’d think that after getting stuck paying off my loser ex-boyfriend’s debt, I would have learned my lesson about money. But no. Instead, I went full YOLO.

I was 23ish, newly self-employed, contracting to big corporates, and somehow trusted to handle my own taxes. And honestly? It was shockingly easy to ignore. No one really checks in to make sure you’re doing it right. No one holding your hand. Just trust that you’re responsible enough to set aside a chunk of your income for taxes instead of spending it.

Spoiler: I was not responsible enough.

I decided Future Rachel could deal with that. Current Rachel had more immediate concerns - like paying off my ex’s mess and, well, doing whatever I wanted.

Fast forward a few years, and Future Rachel got her wake-up call in the form of a very official letter from the tax man. Turns out ignoring your obligations doesn’t make them go away - who knew?

I owed over $37,000 in unpaid tax - increasing on a daily interest rate plus penalties. And unlike the ex’s debt, this one was entirely my fault.

There was no one else to blame. No one had tricked me or left me holding the bag. I had done this to myself through a mix of avoidance, bad decisions, and wishful thinking. And for a while, all I could do was sit with the crushing shame of it.

But I quickly realised that beating myself up wasn’t going to fix it. Wishing I’d done things differently wasn’t going to make the debt disappear. The only way out was through.

So I called them before I had to get into any more strange cars. We set up a payment plan. And to my surprise, they were actually quite nice (shoutout to Rosemary I'll remember her name forever). And when I’d been making payments for around a year, they wiped my interest and penalties. I had built this mess, but I could unbuild it too.

If you’ve been avoiding something - taxes, money, big business decisions - you don’t have to sit in that feeling forever. Sometimes, you just need a plan and a push to take action. Sometimes you just need to phone a friend and get yourself out of the shame spiral.

Next week I'm afraid I will let you all down when I tell you I STILL didn't learn my money lesson...more debt to come.

Love your work,

Rachel

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