Hey Reader,

When I was in my very early 20s, I thought I had life pretty figured out.

I had been overseas, done the international thing and had come back home with my older international boyfriend. He was kind of a bad boy in the way that you look back on in hindsight and think "oh yes, a complete fucking loser".

It's a canon event right?

Somewhere along the way we made the decision to cohabitate... because why pay two sets of bills? So romantic.

I moved into his existing house with existing housemates and our bill paying approach was that for ease I transferred him my share each month. You can see where I am going, right?

Eventually we move back to my home country, New Zealand, and we set up house again. But somewhere along the line, old mate decided he didn't feel like paying our bills anymore. Not just falling behind - full-blown ignoring them. And, being the responsible adult he wasn’t, he made sure to hide all the reminders so I had no idea.

So when good sense won the day and I ended things, he went back to the UK. And all those utility companies he hadn't paid weren’t interested in tracking him down internationally. The only person left on the paperwork? Yours truly.

That’s how, at 22, I ended up with unexpected debt, but even worse rapidly accruing penalties and interest.

And it gets worse - one day, a debt collector showed up at my workplace. And I had to go get into his car, while called whoever was calling in the debt, and basically asked to please explain and what my repayment plan was. Side note, when I explained the situation, he was very very kind and made a horrible situation somewhat bearable.

It took me years to shake off the weight of that debt - not just financially (lol at 19% interest until I could refinance), but emotionally. Because money shame is real. And the thing about shame? It thrives in silence.

I have to confess though, despite that very very rough lesson, I ended up in debt two more times over the next 10 years. I'll tell you alllll about that next week - the credit card debt, and the tax debt. What can I say, I'm a slow learner.

But I know I’m not the only one who’s ever made bad money decisions, gotten caught up in someone else’s mess, or felt completely out of control. And if you can relate, just know you're not alone and you can change your money story around.

Love your work,

Rachel

Don't be shy! Book your free strategy session, 30mins of just you + me (no selling, I promise)...thinking of rebranding these to the hot mess helpline 🤭